My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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