Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
