i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Your dad touched me again.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Randomize
