Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Randomize
