If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
