I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
