____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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