just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
