The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
