I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
