my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Randomize
