I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
