these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
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