So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
