smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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