I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Randomize
