On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
