I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
