just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Randomize
