Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
