i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
