if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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