I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
