"it" just moved
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize