Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
