i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize