Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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