Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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