Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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