It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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