I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Randomize
