nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I have already put on my inside pants.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
