Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
