My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
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