I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
