you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
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