When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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