two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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