he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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