for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
