Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
