I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
