he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Randomize