YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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