Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
