BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
