yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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