it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
