Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
