My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
