I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
