Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
