Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
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