Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
