You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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