thus making me awesome and them whores
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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