I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Randomize
