Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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