The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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