It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
