Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
